Today, I came across the blog of somebody I know. It was the most odd experience of my life, especially since it contained things that I know she would never say to me. It felt like spying or reading her diary, but it was something that she had chosen to post for the entire world to read.
My blog is rather like that as well. Not half as searingly personal, perhaps, but... in person, I don't talk about many of these things. I don't show anyone my writing, I don't talk about my feelings, I don't rant about how sad I am feeling today. Mostly because I consider it pretty pathetic. Partially because it's not my persona. (These very sentences I wouldn't tell to people in person) But I post them on my blog, even though I know for a fact that this blog is read by people I know.
I think it's the impersonal touch. How can you be embarrassed of just typing your thoughts into a screen? It's like a diary, and nobody is so pathetic as to lie to their diary.
And there's also a confessional aspect going. Type your fears, your hopes, your worries, and some anonymous strangers may come along and validate them. It's like a universal bartender- a place to pour out all your troubles, and get a sympathetic ear. Not much judging, maybe not even much caring. But when you're done, there are all your thoughts, out there on the internet. It makes them real, concrete. It's like catharasis.
Not that I use the blog for this much. My current biggest life dilemma has not made it onto my blog and is not going to make it probably until I've gotten it figured out. (If you know what I'm talking about, you're right. If you don't, don't guess. You're not going to be able to.) I rarely succumb to venting my real thoughts- does that make this blog less honest or simply less personal? And who cares? Is there some duty out there to tell your blog everything, as if it matters?
Perhaps I would be more honest with the blog if I knew for a fact that nobody reading it could know who I am. This is not currently the case, and perhaps it is better this way. If I wanted to keep a diary, I am perfectly capable of doing so. I don't and so I don't. A blog is not a diary, I think, but I am still not entirely certain what it is. I am probably over-analyzing the whole thing.