The sign of a fraying friendship is when you find yourself tracking how much of each conversation is about them and how much is about you. Never a healthy calculation, and one that I am reasonably sure ou never do when things swing the other way.
I’m an idealist, a capitalist, an artist, a Zionist, a realist. I’m cynical, logical, nonsensical, paradoxical, and practical. I’m something to everyone and I wonder who really knows me. I’m naïve, sardonic, intellectual. Intense, analytic, pragmatic, religious. I get euphoric on life when no one is looking, and I always think that I’m faking it when I cry. I’m a chameleon, a conformist, a rebel, a geek. There’s little you can say about me that I haven’t thought myself. Especially the good things. Especially the bad ones. I am my choices, minute by minute.
I’m self-aware, self-conscious, self-confident, self-centric, selfless. Self-deluding, self-effacing, self-important, self-doubting. Self-reliant, self-indulgent, self-righteous, self-sustaining. Self-assured, self-contradictory, self-determined. Self-editing, self-contained, self-controlled, and self-appointed. And loving every minute of it.