Don't you wish that you were a philosopher? If your opinions are contradictory, then they are ironic; if they are evil, they are misinterpreted; if they are incoherent, illogical, or badly-written, then they are deep. This last is of the supreme importance- establish your work as the unique province of the intellectuals and they will trip over themselves justifying your genius. Do not be ashamed of your egotism nor your incoherence- the more you claim that your work can be understood only by the lofty few, the more your work will be lauded, loved and universally admired. Your semi-coherent babbling will become the gospel of the elite, because they know that very fact makes them elite; they will love your work not for itself, but for all of the wonderful things that it says about them, discuss it not because it is great, but because it makes them part of the class of people who discuss that sort of thing. Claim that you are perfect, and then you are, because any perceived imperfection would be an admission of incomplete understanding in an insufficiently deep reader. If you have any doubts of universal acceptance, do your best to insult the Institution, endorse hedonism, and massage your public's more ugly prejudices. Complete overthrow of Christianity is the minimum- see if you can do in all of morality at once. If your facts are wrong, people will admire your logic; if your logic is flawed, they will praise your perspective; if all else fails, they will turn to admiration of your style, celebrating every rhetorical trick as a triumph of literature.
The joy of liberal arts is that nothing is too meaningless to be profound, nothing too egotistical and subjective to be canonized, nothing too made-up to be Truth.