Now that I actually sit around doing homework, I've developed a need for background music beyond talk radio, as hours on end of talk radio tends to reduce me to homicidal annoyance. They all have the same blinking voice- and the same ideas and the same tactics- and they all think that they are special. The only distinguishable is Michael Savage and that is because he is regrettably not in possession of his sanity. But I digress
So I've taken to listening to shmais radio "Jewish streaming music". Most of it annoys me, but at least it can fade into white noise and sometimes there are really good songs. But not this one. It was entitled "Me and My Daughters Five" by Shweble, Shwarf, and Levine (Is that the name of a band or a law firm? Honestly, I should have seen the awfulness coming)
The song was about...the singer. And his daughters. He had five of them. And it went like this (I paraphrase) We were going to have a baby. Then we did. It was a girl. She was nice. But we wished we had a boy. Then we had another girl. She was nice too. But we needed a boy "to keep his sisters in their place" (We will not go into the grammar or the misogyny that could be read into that line. We will charitably assume that he needed a rhyme). Then we had another girl. Then two more. My girls are nice. I am "the happiest man alive, me and my daughters five". It was the sort of song that could be sung at someone's Bat Mitzvah. With everyone wearing those pained "oh, how cute" expressions. I mean, he complimented his daughters by name. Are they going to have to live through the Christopher Robin trauma in addition to having the world know that their father really wanted a boy.
And the rhymes! We will not discuss the rhymes. Suffice it to say that they did little to mitigate the ridiculousness of the subject. It really was the sort of thing that you would sing at Bat Mitzvahs. Not at weddings. The bride would put her foot down.