Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Top Ten Reasons I am Making Aliyah

I am sick of my own unbelievable mushiness when it comes to aliya. So...these are the real reasons for the decision, aided and abetted by Mike, who is not making aliya, really.

10)Funny colored money- it feels so fake that it's fun to over-spend.
9) I heard that there are people who are going to give free drives to the Mediterranean? And I love going to the beach!
8) America is being run by a cabal of Jewish conspirators.
7) Everybody speaks English.
6) Being overdrawn isn't an embarressment, it's a national pasttime.
5) Jordanian TV
4) Well, Israel certainly needs another lawyer.
3) So much closer to the culture, excitement, and beauty of the Paris of the Middle East.
2) No extradition treaties and no death penalty (heh, heh)
1) Well, I've heard that once all the Jews get there, they can all be wiped out and Messiah can come. And who doesn't want Messiah to come? Again.


Halfnutcase said...

. . .


someone like you could drive a person nuts.

and i mean that in a good way.

seriously your a very very colorfull character.

(what else am i supposed to say?!)

Tobie said...

In my defense, I was in a very, very strange mood, and I have a very, very dry sense of humor.

Tuvya said...

Good luck!

btw, I enjoyed browing through your blog

dbs said...

A worthy start.

11. Krembos, 24/7
12. Shopping at a 'Canyon' is so much cooler than at a 'mall'.
13. By eliminating Sunday Brunch calories, you can go pig out at Pizza Hut.
14. Busses all have numbers, no pesky letter/number combinations.
15. I just want to find that guy who had the guts to name the airline 'EL AL' and give him a big hug.

Sorry, its late...

Miri said...

oh Tobie, my lovely little cynic. I try so hard to be as cynical as I can, but you beat me to it every time. how do you do it? (let me guess-it's the wheaties right? "breakfast of champions" and all that jazz?)

Halfnutcase said...

no defense necessary.

one thing is for sure, noone around you will ever be bored.

(besides moods like that can be fun!)