tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14028500.post114032430051266335..comments2023-10-11T02:51:41.729-05:00Comments on Voices in My Head: Being a Good Sport.Tobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14930468887760990485noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14028500.post-1140378131476360572006-02-19T13:42:00.000-06:002006-02-19T13:42:00.000-06:000) Obviously, I can't comment on your voice, since...0) Obviously, I can't comment on your voice, since I've <I>never heard you sing</I>, but I'm sure that it's a nice voice all the same.<BR/>1) That was not a nice thing for your friend to say.<BR/>2) There really is no excuse for pointing out a flaw, perceived or real. It's either lashon haraa or simply rude, depending on to whom the point-out-er is speaking.<BR/>3) llamas!Richardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09474963382678641526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14028500.post-1140370996338714102006-02-19T11:43:00.000-06:002006-02-19T11:43:00.000-06:00Well, see, as I've said, I do joke about my bad vo...Well, see, as I've said, I do joke about my bad voice in front of my friends. Which is why I know that it's not fair to blame them for doing the same. After all, why shouldn't they assume that I am sincere in my not caring?<BR/> <BR/>But...still. I mean, come on. I have friends who joke about how bad they are at a certain subject, but I do not regard this as an opening to turn to them and say, "Boy are you stupid at math." Why? Because I think that a fairly basic understanding of people says that just because somebody jokes about something, it may still hurt. In fact, it is quite likely that they are joking about it because it hurts, because that is a way to minimize it and let people know that you have no false pretentions.<BR/><BR/>Look, I realize that I'm not being fair on this friend, which is one of the reasons that I am not angry at her. And I realize that I brought this upon myself by my persona of not caring. But I still do think that a good ground rule for human existance is: never gratuitously mention other people's weaknesses. It's just not cool.Tobiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14930468887760990485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14028500.post-1140364073877726582006-02-19T09:47:00.000-06:002006-02-19T09:47:00.000-06:00Tobie,I always get in trouble over this with my sp...Tobie,<BR/>I always get in trouble over this with my spouse. I am very self-critical by nature and so I tend to be overtly critical of others. <BR/><BR/>One thing I've noticed about myself: Sometimes I will talk about myself in a self-deprecating way but then get upset when others say the same about me.<BR/><BR/>Have you said that you don't like your own voice in front of other people? Maybe that gave them an opening to be more critical than they would otherwise be?<BR/><BR/>And Irina - no, I'm not <A HREF="http://sicat222.blogspot.com/2006/02/blame-victim.html" REL="nofollow">blaming the victim</A>e-kvetcherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11235994048517019317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14028500.post-1140328883944043882006-02-19T00:01:00.000-06:002006-02-19T00:01:00.000-06:00Hmm... I think you may want to make up cues to giv...Hmm... I think you may want to make up cues to give people when to draw the line with their jokes.Irina Tsukermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10964771563778702009noreply@blogger.com